


Kiss Me in Secret

by SwordsofInk



Category: Cirque du Freak | The Saga of Darren Shan - Darren Shan
Genre: Coming Out, Coming of Age, Consensual Sex, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mentor/Protégé, Vampire Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-01-04 03:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12160548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwordsofInk/pseuds/SwordsofInk
Summary: Darren and Larten had an strained relationship that dramatically transformed over the course of eight years. They grow closer and closer until finally they were within each other's arms.





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I redid it, there's still some rough patches but I'm probably just gonna leave it. I really encourage comments even if it's a complaint. I'll take your words into consideration and appreciate any feedback I can get, I just ask that it isn't rude to me or any other person. I'm taking longer than expected on the next chapter. Got a bit of writer's block, but I will update the story soon!

Introduction

My name is Darren Shan. I used to be a normal kid who went to school, was one of the best at soccer, and had a really good family. That all changed when I went to a freak show with my best friend, Steve. See, Steve recognized one of the freaks from a picture in his vampire books. He’d been performing as Larten Crepsley, but turned out to be Vur Horston- a vampire.

The trouble really began when I stole Mr. Crepsley’s performing spider, Madam Octa. I’d always loved spiders and when I saw him onstage with the deadly arachnid I was entranced by her beauty. On the night I decided to show Steve what I learned about controlling her my sister, Annie, interrupted us and Madam bit Steve. Luckily she was trained not to kill on the first bite- but he would have died if I hadn’t gone to Mr. Crepsley and became a half vampire in exchange for an antidote for Steve. Since then I’d been travelling with Mr. Crepsley, living with him and learning under him.

 

“Darren, go ahead and polish Madam’s cage would you?” the vampire asked absently as he fiddled with some suit of his. 

I grumbled under my breath and did it anyhow. I careful not to let my fingers poke through the bars into the colorful spider’s cage.I did not want another accidental bite to happen especially to me. “And Darren, when you’re finished, I’d like you to make a small stop and gather my dress shirt from Truska.” 

I frowned at him and his over load of orders. They were scatterbrained and unlike him to rattle off demands like that. All that aside, it was getting on my nerves the way he was bossing me around. I paused in polishing Madam Octa’s cage, setting the rag aside and cutting an irritated glance at him. 

“Oh, Darren, one more thing-” I swiftly turned toward Mr. Crepsley, cutting him off.

“Mr. Crepsley, geez! I only have so many things I can do before I collapse will you knock it off?” I said a little loudly, “Holy cow, I have other stuff I do too, you know.” 

Mr. Crepsley blinked at me. He held one arm across his chest, and propped the other upon it so that he could stroke that familiar scar that ran down the side of his face. “...Sorry, Darren. I didn’t realize it inconvenienced you so.” in his voice, I could hear the smallest bit of sarcasm. But I was willing to overlook that in favor of the apology in it, however begrudging it was.

“Well, my time is very precious.” I said, cracking a smile to show that I was only joking. 

“Hm.” Crepsley grunted, his lips twitched and I knew he was amused. I felt my cheeks get a bit warm- feeling like he was laughing at me rather than with me. “Well, then, Master Shan, I suppose then, that you may finish Madam’s cage then leave to do whatever the devil else besides your chores.” he returned to his attire, shifting through his outfits (he had only a few and all in mostly red). 

I couldn’t help but to pin him down in my gaze. I’d been doing it since Mr. Crepsley helped me save Debbie, a girl I sort of liked (long story). I used to watch him when he went out during our trip to his city. Back then I thought he was becoming a monster (another long story) but now I watched him for an entirely different reason. 

I allowed my eyes to take in the pale face, and sturdy body I surprised myself when I concluded that Mr. Crepsley wasn’t actually half bad to look at. Sure those scars were pretty ugly, but I bet that without them he’d be startlingly handsome if you’re into that type of thing. Even with the scars… he wasn’t exactly a displeasure to look at. Well, actually, it made him a bit more handsome with them. It made him look like a rugged beast with a pure heart- like you’d read in romance novels.

“...Darren?”

“Huh?” I asked dumbly.

“...You’re staring…” he informed me.

“Oh…” I muttered, then exclaimed more loudly as what he said finally registered, “oh…!” I flushed easily, getting pink, “Yeah sorry, I spaced out for a moment.” 

“Mm…” he replied. I didn’t look away even as he did. I simply let my mind wander, it’s focus on the specimen sitting across from me. I was fixated on what it was that drew me to him. I’d grown increasingly close to him, to the point where I’d hang out with the dusty old bat rather than Evra. It wasn’t something I’d ever wanted before; I just noticed it for myself a few months back.

I chalked it up to my best friend having grown distant due to his age. Evra was still my friend. The snake boy just grew into a snake man, and lately it seemed that he didn’t have time for little kids like me anymore. So, without my bestfriend, I just attached myself to Mr. Crepsley. There were other kids my age around, but none of them were the same as Evra, or Sam. And Evra and Sam never could really understand being me, being a vampire. Mr. Crepsley knows that and far more than I might ever about ourselves. He’s someone I can go to and confide in, someone I can truly count on… I just might have started to understand that better. That made sense to me in a way, and I accepted that in the billowing storm of thoughts that was my mind. 

“Darren.” Mr. Crepsley coughed, “You are staring once again.” 

“Oh- sorry, Mr. Crepsley!” I said, turning away shyly. I heard him chuckle softly to himself and mutter something under his breath that made my ears hot and my cheeks flame. 

My stomach rolled with inexplicably when he set his things away to turn to face me more directly, “Is there something we should discuss Darren?” I guess he finally decided to confront me. These weren’t the first instances he’s caught me staring him down, probably with a strange look on my face.

“No, I’m sorry…” the sound of nothingness prompted my to explain so that the void of quiet didn’t stretch on for too long, “I was just kind of thinking about when you first took me on as your assistant.” I admitted. 

Mr. Crepsley’s eyebrows shot up and he made a thoughtful noise, clothing forgotten, “Really? How so?” 

“Just that I used to hate you a lot.” I offered, feeling like a bug under a microscope (I wonder how my stares had him feeling).

He grunted, “You tried to kill me.” he said, a smile working onto his features. “More than once. You absolutely loathed me.”

I shifted on my feet, feeling really silly now for how I acted towards him then, “Well... now I… I can’t see my life any other way.” 

Mr. Crepsley leaned back in his chair, “And you don’t regret becoming a half vampire?” Per the norm, Mr. Crepsley cut straight to what he wanted. 

I took a few moments to actually consider the question. Did I? Mostly it didn’t bother me but sometimes I would miss my family and my friends and my old life… days like those were rough. I’d have to go somewhere private because it was certain that I’d cry. “Well, I do sometimes. When I think about Mom and Dad and Annie and ...Steve.” I saw Mr. Crepsley’s shoulders fall into a slump and his face pull into a sad frown which caused me to hesitate. 

He rested his hand over his face and breathed in deeply. “I’m sorry, Darren. I don’t know what I was thinking by blooding you. I brought a curse on you that can’t be undone-” 

“It sucks, but there’s no use in moping about it. You told me that, remember?” I asked, giving him a brave smile. I was a little unsettled by his reaction. I felt like I upset him with talk of missing my family. It didn’t occur to me that Mr. Crepsley actually felt genuine sorrow for taking me from my life. Certainly not sorrowful enough that it actually gave him feel grief too. 

Mr. Crepsley pulled his hand away to study me. “I remember.” he sighed. “...Darren, I have to ask you to leave while I think on something. I’ll finish Madam’s cage, don’t worry on it.” He took his suit and put it back in its box, with an air of dismissal. However, I didn’t move for a few seconds, and stood there studying his back.

“Mr. Crepsley…” I saw his head tilt to the side a fraction, listening to me, “I didn’t mean to upset you, you know. I don’t miss my family as much as I used to.” I was acting a little desperate to return the air of comfort again. I may have been older than when he blooded me (though I didn’t show it), but I still didn’t understand the complex feelings he might have been having. This was becoming overwhelming.

Mr. Crepsley turned to me, his face unreadable. “Master Shan, I just want some time to think.” he cracked a smile, “And you don’t need to worry yourself over my feelings, Darren. I’m a grown man, your teacher. It’s my job to worry about you.” 

“Well, if I don’t who does worry about you?” I asked. It sounded strange coming from my mouth. I always said things that sounded much older, and deeper in understanding than adults pegged me for, and it always surprised them anyway. This time, I surprised myself. I spoke on a subject I wasn’t sure even I understood that well. It didn’t stop there either, as I found that my lips moved again of it’s own accord, “You know, it’s okay to lean on someone for stuff. And it’s okay to lean on me even though you’re an adult and I’m not. We have each other’s backs, right? We’re supposed to trust each other, we promised.” 

I could really tell that it had Mr. Crepsley shaken: his eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline when they shot up. That was twice that I got to see an unusual slip of his cool, calm demeanor. After a while of trying to figure each other out in a silence pregnant with our heavy thoughts, Mr. Crepsley cleared his throat. 

“Well, Darren, I am thankful that you would think of my needs…” he trailed off for a moment at a loss, as if what I’d said hit him off track again. “...but,” he recovered, waving his hand, “I’m perfectly fine, right now.” 

I nodded obediently, setting the cloth down upon Madam Octa’s cage, “Okay. I’ll leave you to it.” 

“Darren, before you go,” Mr. Crepsley stood, and crossed the room to touch my shoulder with his large, warm hand. “thank you, for offering anyway. But I really don’t want you concerning yourself about me.” he gently squeezed my shoulder in a rare display of affection. Three times he surprised me. 

I left with a strange feeling of emptiness, almost like disappointment. I shrugged the feeling away and continued on with the rest of the evening as normal, although, I couldn’t shake the ghost of his strong hand on my shoulder, and the wonderful warmth it gave me when it squeezed.

 

 

The next night I woke Mr. Crepsley as normal. Greeting him with a small glass of blood and his breakfast. “Morning.” I had much practice and was proud of the omelet and buttered toast I brought him.

He grunted, not as verbal when he first wakes, nor as inclined to be cheerful. He took a bite of the toast and chewed it broodingly in his mouth. “Morning, Master Shan.” he announced finally after a sip of blood. “Your chores are done I presume?” he asked. 

“Yeah.” I replied evenly, expecting him to give me more.

“Then I’d like you to get some practice in with Madam Octa before tonight’s show. I am going to Mr. Tall to inform him of a few things.” He stepped out of his coffin, towering over me at his full height.

Curiosity had me prying, “About what?”

A familiar sparkle returned to his eyes and he tapped his nose without saying a word. Damned secretive vampire. When Mr. Crepsley nodded at Octa’s cage I took the hint and left with her back to my tent I shared with Evra Von, a man that had the skin, eyes, and nose of a snake. That was his act at the Cirque. Performing along with his large, exotic python.

“Aw!” Evra gasped when he saw me with the spider, “Not that ugly thing!” he shivered, “She gives me the creeps.” 

“Yeah? How do you think I feel about your snake? At least the spider has a cage.” I laughed lightly so that he knew I was only kidding. 

“Ha-ha, whatever, brat.” but his face was split by a toothy smirk, “Why has Mr. Crepsley got you practicing here, anyway? Don’t you do this in his van? Where the spider can be monitored?” 

“Yeah well… he’s being elusive-” I retorted with sarcasm, rolling my eyes. 

“You mean ‘himself’?” Evra supplied while I drew a breath.

“-and sent me off with the busy work of practicing with Octa so that he could chat with Mr. Tall and avoid my questions.” 

“Oh?” Evra sat forward in his hammock in interest, “You think that you’re going to leave soon? You know he talks to Mr. Tall all elusively before you guys get ready to leave!” I wrinkled my nose at his deliberate choice of ‘elusive’. 

“I dunno, I wish we didn’t have to. We wouldn’t leave for fun, I know that much!” I set Madam Octa on my bedside table and sighed, “And he doesn’t only talk to Mr. Tall because we’re gonna leave… sometimes he may have a conversation about other things…” 

“Yeah, like you. Have you been performing poorly?” He asked, batting his lashes. 

“No! He just wanted to run something by Mr. Tall. That’s what he said, at least.” I said thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling as I recalled. 

“Mysterious. I hope it’s not too bad, vampire boy.” He turned away to tend to his snake as I faced Madam Octa and took the flute into my hands.

“Yeah… I hope it won’t either.” I muttered. I unhooked the latch on Madam’s cage, and placed the flute to my lips. 

I played softly, getting her to squat and sway in place to warm up my fingers and her legs. Then I played a fast, jig-like tune. The beauty of all those years practicing that I learned how to play fancy while getting her to do tricks. The flute had nothing to do with it, except in helping me to concentrate my thoughts to the fat, deadly spider. However it takes a lot of work learning how to play eerily beautiful while I send commands to Madam Octa. When I first tested my abilities Mr. Crepsley remained nearby to help me if necessary. I had to learn to better my abilities if I wanted to impress our audience.

Madam Octa hopped around, spinning webs between the support polls in the tent and doing hand stands. I didn’t want to push her too hard right before a performance so I kept it increasingly simple. But I still I was so solely focused on Octa, that I didn’t notice Evra’s snake creeping in to get itself a snack. Just before it struck, I saw the green monster and tooted loudly to give Madam the command to jump away. Evra and I were quick to put the snake and spider away from each other: the snake on its pillow, the spider in her cage. 

Evra sighed in relief when the spider was in her cage, “Sorry Evra, I didn’t see…” I apologised breathlessly.

“No, it’s okay.” he replied, his breath short too. “Just… Do you think you can take Octa somewhere else?” 

“Yeah, sure.” I replied, “I can go to Mr. Crepsley’s van and practice. I’m not sure why he wouldn’t let me stay there any way.” 

I went out, to the perfect place to practice, and keep Madam Octa contained incase I lost concentration. I had to weave through different vans and practicing freaks as they got ready for the show. As I got to Mr. Crepsley’s van, I thought I heard his voice, muffled as it was through the door, speaking fervently to someone else. I knew better than to eavesdrop on him, but curiosity got the better of me, and I set Madam Octa’s cage on the ground in front of the steps and leaned my ear on the door to listen. 

“-...and how can I accomplish that? I don’t want to push him if he’s not ready.” Mr. Crepsley’s voice filtered to my ear. I instantly ingrained myself into their conversation. I just knew that this was about me.

“Larten, if you’re unsure about him, then test him on the way. If he reacts then he’s ready. If not then leave it.” Mr. Tall replied. 

“Hibernius, I don’t think it’s so black and white…” I’ve only heard Mr. Tall’s first name twice, and still it struck something with me. It just fit somehow, in a way I couldn’t explain. I heard Mr. Crepsley sigh in an aggravated manner as he continued. “But I don’t think I can keep myself from it anymore. The boy is getting older, maybe it’s time I try…” 

“Then you know what to do, Larten.” Mr. Tall informed him, “But maybe it will be easier now that the boy has heard some of the problem.” 

“How do you mean?” Mr. Crepsley asked. Mr. Tall didn’t reply to him verbally, but the next thing I knew, the solid door was pulled away from me and I was sent sprawling ungracefully to the floor with a loud Oof! 

Mr. Crepsley frowned down at me, and crossed his arms. I stood to brush myself off, patting my legs of invisible dust. “Well, Darren.” Mr. Tall greeted, “It is a surprise to see you here.” 

I looked up at him and sheepishly shrugged. With no way to sugar coat what I was doing, I stated honestly, “I really hadn’t meant to snoop... I was going to practice with Octa in here where I wouldn’t be in Evra’s way. I knew Mr. Crepsley would be speaking with you, but I thought it would be in your tent.” 

Mr. Crepsley shook his head, “Darren, you know better than to eavesdrop on my personal affairs.” there was the hint of a growl in his voice, “You should have left.” 

“I was! But I heard that you were talking about me.” I said. “You’re going to test me?” 

Mr. Crepsley blinked at me, his stern expression slipped for just a moment, “How much do you know?” he demanded. 

“Just that you were going to test me on the way… on the way to where?” I pressed, “And what test?” 

Mr. Crepsley pursed his lips. Mr. Tall, whose hands were clasped behind his back, cleared his throat, “I will leave you both to talk.” He passed by me, pulling his hands to the front. I thought I saw a flash of something. When I turned to get a better view, I found Mr. Tall behind me with Madam Octa’s cage in his hands, “Here Darren. We mustn’t forget Octa, she would have been outside by herself all night.” 

I blinked at him, and took her cage. I was used to the mysterious way he went about things by now. He tipped his hat a little before walking to the right, and out. I placed Madam’s cage on her stand beside Mr. Crepsley’s coffin, and spoke to him again, “So what is it you were talking to Mr. Tall about?” I asked. 

“It doesn’t concern you, Darren. And don’t think your eavesdropping will go unpunished.” He furrowed his brows in irritation.

I gave him an indignant sigh. “I should know, you know! It was about me, after all!” 

“You wouldn’t know for sure, Darren. That is the problem, you always jumped to conclusions.” He declared, irked. “I could be taking on another assistant.”

I felt my anger rise at his dodginess, and I let out a soft growl, “So tell me with a straight face that it’s not about me!” 

“That’s not even a smart way to go about it.” Mr. Crepsley scoffed, “I can lie with ease, Darren.” 

“Not to me.” I informed him confidently, “I know you won’t lie to me.” 

“Oh really? And how are you so sure of that?” Mr. Crepsley crossed his arms and waited for a response. 

“Because you hold yourself to a higher standard!” I replied. “You may omit information, but you’d never lie to me. Not to any vampire. You’ve got too much integrity.” I smirked at him. I’d felt like I had his number. 

Mr. Crepsley’s frown faded and his lip twitched, “You must feel high and mighty. Do you think you’ve backed me into a corner?” I nodded and waited for the rest of the information. “Don’t get so proud, Darren. I may not lie, but, like you said, I can omit information.”

The widened cheeky smile that followed really irritated me. I sighed in exasperation and threw up my hands, “Can’t you just tell me?!”

The next thing Mr. Crepsley did made me want to punch the vampire square in the nose; he lifted up his fist, and extended his index finger and tapped his finger to his nose with a bright twinkle in his eyes. I knew two things then: I wasn’t getting anything out of him, and I wanted to know now more than ever. I stood there with my face set in a deep scowl, which made him chuckle. He did it deliberately to piss me off, damn him. 

“Well, Darren. Since my talk with Mr. Tall was interrupted,” I scoffed at him and turned away, “you may spend the rest of the time between now and tonight’s performance with me. You will practice, then you will be given a few errands to run. And a couple chores around the van. Mr. Tall has the others setting up the theater. So you’re free until it’s time to perform.” 

“Oh come on.” I complained. 

“Would you rather I take you over my knee and we get the punishment over with now?” Mr. Crepsley asked, “If you want to whine like a child, you’ll receive punishment as one. I thought that I was being more than fair.” 

I didn’t think he was being serious but one look at his face squashed those thoughts. “Okay! Okay! I’ll do the chores.” I resigned myself to his orders and started practicing while Mr. Crepsley read. The practicing was the best part of the night. The errands weren’t super bad either, except Mr. Crepsley only gave them to me one at a time, and it usually sent me pretty far into the camp to get it. Thankfully, I was relieved of duty early so that I could help set up before performance time. I went slowly on purpose so that I wouldn’t have to do more tasks. 

I finished just in the nick of time, and made my way back stage to wait with Mr. Crepsley. I would have been in trouble if I hadn’t made it- Mr. Tall is pretty strict on schedules (you’d have to be to run a show of this caliber). 

“You took your time, hm?” Mr. Crepsley called as I entered. “Trying to avoid chores, Darren?” 

I shot him a weak glare and stood beside him, retrieving Madam’s cage. There was a hush that fell over the other freaks in waiting as the trumpets signalling the start began to play. I peered at Madam Octa and frowned at her through the bars of her cage. 

“You’re making her uncomfortable with that glare.” Mr. Crepsley whispered to me softly. He was almost inaudible, and his lips were right against my ear. I shuddered at the feeling of hot breath over my skin and frowned softly at him. 

“I’m uncomfortable being near her.” I replied, being a little more nasty than necessary towards her. Mr. Crepsley looked a little saddened by that.

“Certainly by now you can forgive her? It’s been eight years.” He suggested. 

“I don’t think so.” I replied. “I can forgive you… but not her… not really.” 

My face moved to meet his. We were only a small gap apart from each other so lifting my head up to meet his eyes nearly made our chins touch. “Darren…” he began, as if he were about to give me a lesson. His eyes dropped down somewhere past my nose as if something was just hanging on my face. 

I furrowed my brows when another hot breath was blown onto my skin, this time upon my lips. “Mr. Crepsley?” I called softly to catch his attention, “What is it?” 

He straightened, the sound of quiet applause as Wolfman was escorted from the stage in his cage. “Nothing.” he replied to me guardedly. I turned around to survey the back of the small side space of the stage. Normally, the other freaks would wait in the very back and only those on next would wait in the side in view of the cage. For some reason though, Evra was right behind us, probably some last minute things he needed to do, but he was staring at me with wide eyes and a pale face. His snake eyes darted between me and Mr. Crepsley and his mouth fell agape. I opened my mouth to speak to him, but Mr. Crepsley tugged on my sleeve, “We need to go, Darren.¨ I left Evra standing there in shock and joined my mentor in our performance. 

 

“When were you going to tell me?!” Evra roared when I returned to our tent. 

“Tell you what?” I inquired, blinking sternly at him for yelling at me. 

“About you and Mr. Crepsley!” Evra pushed at me lightly, but I swatted his hands away. I really wasn’t in the mood to play with him.

“What?” I groaned, “What is it?” 

“You guys are dating, right? You were about to kiss!” He practically hollered. 

I stiffened, staring at him as if he’d gone mad. “What?” I threw my arms up, “That’s ridiculous!” I exclaimed, “Mr. Crepsley wouldn’t- He would never- He isn’t-!” 

Evra’s eyes were wide, “Oh my god-!” he rested his hand on his head in horror, “Mr. Crepsley has a thing for you!” 

“No he doesn’t!” I growled, “Evra! He isn’t like that!” 

“Like hell he isn’t!” Evra roared, “He’s putting moves on you-” 

I pounced and pushed him down. He may have been a man, but I was a half vampire and a little stronger than he was, “No he’s not! Don’t dirty his name like this! You’re getting loud!” 

Evra nodded, quieting down, “Okay! Okay…” he sighed. “Fine, so he’s not gay for you. But he was about to kis-” 

I clamp my hand over his mouth, “No way. You’re just imagining things.” When he gave me his word that he was going to stop bringing him up, I released him. 

“Ah, man…” He rubbed his wrists and smiled weakly to alleviate the tension, “Taken down by a pip squeak like you? This is disgraceful.” 

I scoffed, but I smiled at him. “Don’t underestimate me then.” I replied. 

“I’m hitting the hay…” he told me, climbing into his make-shift bed. 

“I’m staying up a bit. Wake me up in time for the little people’s lunch, okay?” 

“Yeah.” He replied. I left the tent to go somewhere I could be alone with my thoughts. I considered what Evra told me he saw. Mr. Crepsley, making a move on me? The dusty old vampire would never… At least, I didn’t think so. But the more I considered it, the more it seemed like he had tried to make a move. I couldn’t deny it, not with the evidence to back up Evra’s claim.

The knowledge of Mr. Crepsley’s intentions weighed on me. Sitting awkwardly in the back of my mind and filling me with doubts and a strong feeling in my gut. I couldn’t decide if it were anxiety, anticipation, or a mix of both. I made a vow to myself to pay closer attention to Mr. Crepsley, and to confront him if he did. I didn’t know it then, but I would have a chance to see where Mr. Crepsley would take the situation if we were left alone. That would be our turning point, for better or for worse.


	2. Cuddling in the Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darren and Larten make the trip up Vampire Mountain, but things become a little more intense between the two. Can Larten stay with Darren or will morality drive them apart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took WAY too long to update!! I was dealing with some life-problems but no fear- I'm back! As you'll notice, some of you hardcore fans, this fic followed some dialogue pretty closely out of the book. I wanted to stay as close to the original content as possible before I headed my own way to change up the plot. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it, and like the little bit of length to it. I'm not sure when the smut will come in, but it will be within the next 2-3 chapters. Also, as a huge I'm sorry for abandoning my fellow Darrepsley nerds, I will be posting some steamy one shots because there isnt enough Darren/Crepsley on this darned network.

Leaving was always the hardest. It didn’t matter if I knew that we’d return, or if I knew that it was only for a few months, it was just hard. I should get used to it, being a vampire and all. It was our way, we were always saying goodbye. At first when Mr. Crepsley announced our trip to Vampire Mountain I was excited and didn’t think about missing the daily routine of the cirque for the past eight years. I thought a change would be fun, but as we made our way up the mountain with the two little people- all I could think about was my comfy hammock and my friends. I let my body sag a little as I thought about the other performers and the warm tents... I guess I just didn’t expect it to be so bad but I felt miserable trudging over tough, prickly grass and firmly packed dirt with my bare feet. The cold wasn’t bad, though Mr. Crepsley had assured me that the worst of our journey was still ahead of us.

Mr. Crepsley, damn his knowing eyes, glanced in my direction and touched my shoulder, “Can’t bear to be apart from the cirque even for a few moments, can you?” he asked. 

“The cirque is my home.” I grumbled, shrugging off his hand in a snotty matter. “I just miss my friends.” I looked up at the distant mountain, feeling discouraged. It was going to be such a long walk to get there. What would even be there, anyway? I was dying with anticipation and anxiety. 

“Don’t give up yet, Darren. How incredibly embarrassing would it be if we had to turn away before we had even completed a day's walk because young Master Shan missed his bed and blankie?” He coughed awkwardly at the glare he received and offered a smile, “It will be alright, this will help mature you.” 

I sighed softly. “Yeah, okay.” My eyes scanned the grassy, rocky terrain. We were at the base of the mountain so the weather was fairer here. Still cold but a pretty good perk of being me was that I hardly noticed the chill. I was walking up in just sweats and no shoes to boot- a human would need a warm coat and thick clothing.

I checked on the little people who kept pace behind us. The “little people” belonged to a strange man named Mr. Desmond Tiny. Mr. Tiny had everyone absolutely terrified of him, because he manipulated with the events of time and destiny (A nice effect to the terror is that if you shortened his first name, and put it with his last, you’d have Mr. Destiny). 

At first glance, you wouldn’t peg him as a bad guy. He has short white hair, thick glasses and pudgy face, with a warm but mocking smile. He wears a shabby yellow suit and a pair of green wellington boots. He reminded me of a strange uncle when I first came into contact with him. The strange thing, though, is that he has six toes with webbed feet, carries a heart shaped watch, and has six cat-like claws on each foot.

The guy loved chaos and corruption. He’s even told me that he drank human children's blood despite the fact that it would kill them. Nobody is certain where his little people came from; sometimes they’d just show up, usually without him. At the cirque, it was my job to keep them fed so I was pretty acquainted with them. They always wore the same blue robes that concealed their faces and most of their hands, and never spoke. They didn’t have much to distinguish them from each other. Some were a bit taller if you really paid attention, some a little fatter. The only one with a difference was Lefty, Evra and I named him that long ago, due to the limp he had that rendered him a bit more distinguished than the others. 

“Sunrise is soon, and we barely got anywhere…” Mr. Crepsley remarked after a few miles of hiking. I thought that we’d been doing pretty good, but by his tone, I supposed we were short on his quota. “We’ll have to make camp in the trees there.” He pointed to the forest line where the foliage was thick enough to protect Mr. Crepsley from the sun while we slept. 

“Alright, Mr. Crepsley.” I nodded, turning my feet in the forest’s direction. I felt his hand on my shoulder to help in steering me about. It was casual, but I felt myself acutely aware of him. Since Evra told me he saw Mr. Crepsley make a move, I was acutely aware of every touch and word. Nothing had me suspicious yet, but still I analyzed every motion he made towards me.

He guided me up to the forest and further in where barely any light shone. I’d started to sit, but Mr. Crepsley had other plans. He was immediately busied with setting up a campsite for us, and I had hunting duty with the little people. They got their own food, while I snagged a fox for us. It wasn’t very big, but Mr. Crepsley and I would make due with it. 

When I got back to the campsite I was met with something unexpected. Mr. Crepsley had pulled down branches and wove them into a little platform that he secured to a group of trees so that it hovered over the ground. I couldn’t help but to gawk at the little bed. I’ve seen him do some cool stuff before, but weaving trees into a bed? He caught my expression and laughed, “I’ve had much practice at such things, Darren.” 

“Won’t we be in trouble?” I asked, setting the fox’s limp body by my feet. “Cause you built a bed…?” 

Mr. Crepsley smiled genially, “No. We’re still within the rules. There’s no shame in building things like this to survive, it’s just most vampires wouldn’t.” 

My cheeks flamed at the notion of needing a bed. I bet it was for my comfort more than anything. I couldn’t believe that he’d build a bed after all that talk of the rough vampire way of life. “We can sleep on the ground! Snakes and bugs don’t bother me.” I didn’t need modification.

Mr. Crepsley sat on the platform. “Darren, I just didn’t want to risk getting attacked by animals and insects. The weather is not cold enough to ward off the troublesome ones. It has nothing to do with you.” I huffed as I gathered together some things to start a fire. “What are you doing? We can not build a fire here.” 

I turned to him in disbelief, “What? Why not? Is building a fire against the rules?” I was hungry and wanted something to warm my chilled bones. Cold doesn’t affect me as bad as it would a human, but prolonged exposure did pose a problem to my stiff fingers.

“No, but it will attract predators. Not to mention a signal to any passing by.” He took the twigs from my hand, “We’re eating it raw. Take a sip or two of the blood, then eat.” 

I made a slit in it’s throat and drank. I never got used to the hot, salty feeling of blood down my throat, and the carnal desire I got after too long parted from it. When I finished, I passed it to Mr. Crepsley. The vampire took his fill of blood then drew forward and, using his nails, he showed me how to separate the skin from the muscle then to clean the fox. We gave the innards to the little people rather than waste them or leave them out to call out predators. 

“We must eat as much as possible.” Mr. Crepsley pulled its carcass open savagely and sliced into the meat with dagger-like fingernails. It was a red, rippled texture- almost like steak but gamey looking. Any normal human could become sick from eating meat, especially wild animals raw, but vampires could eat like this if we wanted to. Cooking it was more for self indulgence and comfort than anything.

“Mr. Crepsley, where did you learn how to clean animals like this?” I asked, pulling off a strip of meat. 

“Well, like you I also had a mentor to guide me through the vampire ways.” he smiled at me, “And more. I just hope I can do you the same justice as my mentor has done to me. He is a great man.” He gained a far-away look in his eyes as he recalled the memories of his time as a student.

“What was he like?” I asked. 

“Mm…” he blinked his memories away and cut his eyes down to me, “I hope like myself. I adopted many of his ways.” 

“Do you love him?” The question was innocent. I didn’t mean anything by it but he made a distance between us, as if he was watching me from afar. 

“Do you love me?” I studied his face. It was stoic; still I had the feeling he sat on the edge of his seat for my answer. 

“Uh…” his brows rose almost imperceptibly as I answered, “Yeah… yeah, I guess.” 

“Then you have your answer.” he dismissed me. 

I looked down at my orange/red stained fingers and the last piece of meat in them. My stomach rolled unexpectedly which left me feeling queasy. The nerves, anticipation, and the scent of raw meat had my appetite whittled down to nothing.

“Mr. Crepsley, I think I’m going to bed.” I announced, and stood to brush myself off. 

“You’ve hardly eaten.” he stated, turning towards me. 

I replied lightly, “Yeah. I’m just not hungry.” I wasn’t even sure I could sleep, but I had to try.

“Darren.” He took my wrist into his hand, “Do try to eat. You’ll need the energy for tomorrow. We won’t have time to stop in the middle of our walk as we did today.” 

“Mr. Crepsley, I’m just not hungry-.” 

“Eat.” he ordered sternly. With a softened expression, to guilt me, he added, “Please.” 

I remembered when I refused blood for a while in the beginning. How he tried to sway me to drink to stay healthy (and alive). I felt my heart twist in guilt like he wanted, and I resigned myself to dinner.After I reclaimed my place by Mr. Crepsley, he handed me a large hunk of the fox. “Thanks.” I mumbled. 

He nodded then ate quietly beside me while he made mental note of the area. “The sun has risen.” He called out finally. 

I glanced at him, chewing slowly, “Are you ready for bed?” Half hoping he’d let me out of eating dinner.

He smirked at me, “Just eat, Darren.” The look I gave him must have resembled something of a pout, because it made his smirk widen, “Don’t give me such an expression. You should know better than to starve yourself all because you’re scared.” 

“I’m not scared. I’m just tired.” I rebutted him instantly, my manliness having taken a blow. 

“All the more reason to eat. Regain your energy.” He popped a sliver of meat into his mouth to emphasize his point. I reacted with a scowl but left it there. At the end of dinner, we let the little people have the leftover fox (and I was worried it wouldn’t be enough, about half the fox was left over), and got ready for bed. I wouldn’t admit it, but after eating as Mr. Crepsley ordered, the tightness in my stomach faded, and I felt better. 

I ran into a problem when we climbed into bed. The platform was smaller than it looked when both of us lay on it. Even with my diminished size, it was still hard to be comfortable and still respect each other’s space. Mr. Crepsley draped his arm over my body, and to my embarrassment, I curled into his chest. It was incredibly awkward, but Mr. Crepsley was really cozy to snuggle up to, I noticed. He must have came to the same conclusion, since he fell asleep within moments. In fact, after about forty minutes, he was breathing deeply and in the depth of slumber.

I settled in lulled by the deep, measured breaths of the man holding me. I haven’t been this close to the old man in forever. His scent, concentrated now that I was mere centimeters from his neck, filled my nose pleasantly. We hadn’t had the chance to bathe in a while, but he smelled so good despite it. I pressed my nose more firmly on his neck and sniffed deeper still. I didn’t stop to think about the implications of me getting caught. My mind assured me that even if Mr. Crepsley woke and found me, he wouldn’t think anything of it. 

It was when I pressed a kiss to the skin on his neck did I rear back. I was so appalled at myself that I sat straight up and away. What possessed me to kiss him that way? My actions were completely unacceptable- he was my mentor, my guardian, an adult. He was a man. That kind of behavior was forbidden, or in the very least highly inappropriate. 

If it was so unacceptable then what was that night before our performance?

A finger tapped my back, “What is it, Darren?” His voice was thick with sleep, and slurred.

“Nothing. Nothing I just…” I trailed off. He pulled me to lay down, and lacking the will to listen to my doubtful mind, I followed. He tucked me so that my back pressed against his chest and settled his chin on my head. “Mr. Crepsley, sorry for waking you. It’s just... I…” I trusted the man who held me with my life. I’ve asked him countless questions and told him exposing, personal things. For some reason now, though, I was having trouble telling him why I was so shaken.

“Whatever it is, do not worry, Darren.” He mumbled. With his hand, he cupped my cheek and rubbed it with the pad of his thumb, “Everything will be alright.” Surprise overtook me, at his… intimate gesture. I accepted it anyway I was just glad that he was being so affectionate. 

 

“Mr. Crepsley…” I could feel his hand drift from my face to press against my midsection and rest there. “Mr. Crep-...” His breathing had returned to the slow deep breaths of slumber. 

He, while he rested in the arms of slumber, left me there blinking in the dim light of the forest. I heard the chittering and scampering of animals as they went about their ways. Between the noises of the wildlife, the light breathing of the vampire, and the warmth that shielded me from the chill, I was eased to sleep.

 

The next day’s hike was longer and more intense. Mr. Crepsley woke me up gruffly, and set the pace to a swift march. He didn’t even give me time to become completely awake. He roused me, and barked, “move” then turned and started off.

We said little to each other the entire walk. I was terrified that it was due to last night. He didn’t get upset, but my mind kept telling me that it was because he was asleep. It wasn’t until after we made it to a little shady spot in the woods, did I learn that Mr. Crepsley kept our walk silent to honor the fallen vampires that gave their lives to a battle in that very stretch of land. 

“So, the vampaneze fought vampires here?” I asked curiously. 

“I was not around for the battle, but from what I hear, it was gruesome. The highest death toll ever recorded on either side.” Mr. Crepsley recalled, “I remember my own mentor teaching me about it. The war was terrible and had severe damage on our population. But the majority of our losses came from the battle at the base of our palace.” 

“Sounds horrific…” I gasped. “I’m glad you didn’t fight.” 

Mr. Crepsley sat up a bit straighter, “Why’s that?”

“Because. Your bright red hair would have been a target.” I snickered. 

Mr. Crepsley didn’t look very amused, “I’d appreciate if you did not make a monkey out of me.” 

“What? What does that mean?” I inquired, still smiling at my jab. 

“Do not make fun.” He huffed looking actually offended. My eyes widened and I started laughing. I don’t really know why I found it so funny. Something about proud, reserved Mr. Crepsley feeling self conscious about something as trivial as his hair color tickled me. 

He grunted and turned away, settling into his small spot to sleep. “M-Mr. Cr-Crepsley… Suh-suh-sorry!” I gasped, doubling over laughing. 

“I doubt it.” he replied dryly. 

“Mr. Crepsley…” I stated, wiping my eyes, “Don’t feel bad. I was only joking.” 

His eyes cut to me, “I know. Come. It is going to get colder during the day as we sleep. We need to share our body heat.” 

I nodded, and gave the rest of my rabbit to the little people. I scooted closer, and lay down snuggled into Mr. Crepsley's side. He had me in such a way that I had to use his outstretched arm as a pillow while his other arm looped around my waist and pulled me closer. He pulled me into his body and held me there. 

A little surprised, I weakly squeaked his name in question. He responded with an easy tone, “It’s just me Darren. I need to keep you close and us warm.” 

I blinked at him, “I don’t feel that cold, Mr. Crepsley.” 

“You don’t now, but we are approaching winter. The temperature will plummet by the morrow.” He shifted, trying to settle comfortably.

“Geeze. Couldn’t the council be held in the summer?” I asked. 

“Hmph.” He responded, “Where’s the challenge in that?” He’d told me some time ago that vampires lived their lives to the fullest. Challenging themselves past the limit in the name of living up to their potential. They’d wrestle bears, scale vertical juts of rock with just their fingernails, anything that would present a trial they could overcome. “Besides,” He continued, “Because of the mountain’s elevation, we’d still end up freezing.”

He was right though. By lying against each other, I felt incredibly warm. With his scent washed over me, and the warm embrace he locked me in, sleep came effortlessly. 

\------

“Darren.” Mr. Crepsley called gently. “Wake up.” He shook my shoulder to rouse me. 

We’d been travelling for a few days, and the hard environment had torn my soft feet. Making them burn and ache like hell. He applied some medicinal herbs and carried me on his back to help to heal them, but they drove me crazy most of the time. 

“Mh…” I sat up and rubbed my eyes. As routine, I offered a foot to him and in response he took out a small pouch of the ointment he made two days prior, when the problem first arose. 

“They may take another two days yet to heal, but they aren’t infected, which is good. The cold is doing well to help keep them from hurting too badly.” Mr. Crepsley switched feet and used more salve upon my feet. 

“They sting like nothing else.” I informed him, “It’s driving me nuts.” 

“Be grateful. That means your feet are still working. It’s easy to get infections or even walk your feet to ribbons. Be thankful I’m merciful and carrying you while they heal. There are some vampires who would let their pupils destroy their feet in effort to teach them strength.” Mr. Crepsley told me, with a small smile. 

“Did your mentor do that to you?” I followed up. I hoped not. So far, I was feeling pretty good about his mentor. I don’t know how I’d react if I found out that he let Mr. Crepsley suffer just to toughen him up. 

“No, but you shouldn’t pity the students, nor hold anger towards their masters. It is simply our way. We pride ourselves on our strength, and being able to push ourselves past the limit.” Mr. Crepsley patted my leg and I gave him my other foot, “It is a lesson I don’t prefer, but one I will not disrespect.” 

“I don’t know that I feel the same way. If I ever have an apprentice, I’d never push them like that.” I told him, “That is terrible.” 

He smiled at me, “Well, you don’t know our laws. You may change your mind once you grow to know them. You may even find it appropriate to apply this teaching upon your pupil should you gain one. Part of why I carry you is that you are a boy, not a full grown man. Nor a full vampire on top of that. You need some accommodations.” 

“Are you sure it’s not because you’re soft on me?” I asked with a cheeky grin on my face.

“Funny.” He put the homemade medicine away, “I’m not so easily swayed. I don’t let my personal feelings intervene in my decision making.” 

“Well that’s not true. A lot of decision making involves emotion, right? Isn’t that why you decided to carry me? Because you felt that I needed the help?” I smirked at him. I was being an ass, but the dry expression he gave me was all worth it.

“Feeling clever?” Mr. Crepsley asked, causing a lot of my smugness to fade. 

“Well, yeah.” I told him airily.

“Hm. Well then. Since you are so sophisticated, and high thinking, certainly you won’t need me...” He began. I shifted, my eyes narrowed while he deliberated his next statement, “I feel that you are able to walk out your pains.” 

“No way…” I said, “That’s going to suck!” He smirked at my distress. “Mr. Crepsley! I’ll do anything you want!” 

Mr. Crepsley grinned, a wicked curve of his smile as he thought of something he could have me do. “What chores can I have you do?” he wondered aloud. Then he poked my ribs with a simper smile, “I’ll carry you, but another remark like that, I’ll make you walk.” 

 

Our walk was more strenuous and over larger chunks of grass covered stone. Eventually, we cut across the rocky mountain trail and into the thin, sparse forest. It didn’t take a genius to notice the lightening sky and the lack of coverage around us to realize that we were heading towards trouble. “Mr. Crepsley, um, won’t you be exposed to the sun? These trees are bare.” 

“I see.” Mr. Crepsley told me. “But we aren’t stopping.” 

“What?” I yelped, “Mr. Crepsley, you’ll burn!” 

“Not immediately.” He reminded me, I had a habit of forgetting that the burn wouldn’t happen immediately. “And if it comes to it, I’ll have to ask you to assist in shielding me from the sun.” He narrowed his eyes, and spoke to himself more than me, “I knew we were off course. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t realize how much so until now.” 

“How far are we?” My eyes took in our surroundings, “Did you forget the way?” 

“We are still in for a long journey, do not worry about that.” He said, shifting me to a more comfortable position for him to carry, “It is just that now that we’ve meandered from the way, we may take a few days longer than I’d like. The trail I’d use has lost many of its identifying markers. I used to make new ones, but I haven’t been to a council in so long that my trail has been neglected. I can no longer keep to it as strictly as I once would have.” 

“How are we going to get back to it then?” I pressed, preferring to talk than to sit in silence again.

“We won’t. I know the general way to the council… however we may have some surprise encounters, so keep your wits about you.” I could feel the strain of his muscles as he shifted me again. His back had to be aching from the miles of walking he did with me on him. I wasn’t that heavy, but carrying me the whole night, three nights in a row had to have whittled down his endurance enough to bother him. Especially with the lack of human blood. He couldn’t just drink it to cure his aches and get a boost of energy any more. We only had a small vial and that was for emergencies. 

“Mr. Crepsley, do you want to try letting me walk?” I asked him. “If I’m getting hard to carry-” 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Darren, but you would slow us down. Our time is growing shorter as we speak.” He dismissed me. 

I sighed through my nose in irritation, somehow irked by being told I’d be a hindrance, “I could walk and keep up.” 

“And I can carry you a little further.” He was trying to hide it, but I could hear the smile in his voice. One crept up to my lips as well, as I lay my head on his shoulder and rested. Despite the occasional bumps, the jostling, and the now more bitter cold, I found myself really comfortable. My eyelids (heavy in the stiff way they would get from being anxious) finally dropped closed. I readily shedded my weariness in favor of rest. 

Mr. Crepsley and I wandered alongside each other over the tough, dead clumps of grass growing between rocks and hard, packed dirt. He ran his hand over my hair and smiled warmly at me. I stopped in my tracks and looked up at him. Behind him, the sun glared brilliantly yet harmless to him. He tugged at my hand gently, then harder until I was against his chest, being pressed to him tightly. The first thing I noticed was that he felt chilly; his skin cold as a cadaver's. I tried to tell Mr. Crepsley how cold he was, to tell him that we needed to make a fire quick to warm him but my words wouldn’t work. Bubbles of air floated up through the empty space above us instead. I watched them float away like balloons, while Mr. Crepsley gazed my face with the same serene smile. I trained my eyes to his face, studied his calm expression, and relaxed into his body. I took a small breath of stinging cold air.

I couldn’t breathe.

“Darren.” He loudly called. 

It was entirely strange. His face was so calming, and soothing, yet his voice sounded panicked. 

I looked down at my fingers, turning a light shade of blue. Mr. Crepsley’s image remained solid, but the little world of cold sunlight started fading.

“Darren!” Bubbled didn’t leave his mouth when he spoke. How odd.

“Darren, please!” He leaned down and kissed me. It was so strange, not like any kiss I ever had. He parted my lips with his, and blew air into my mouth. 

“Darren!” He gasped as I rolled over to gag and retch. Water streamed from my mouth so cold that it made my teeth ache. His hand smacked my back and shoulders vigorously to help me spit up the water. When I emptied my lungs, he grabbed me and hugged me with all of his might. “You nearly drowned, fool, and you slept through it!” 

I looked up at him, coughing still. “I feel sick…” 

“You nearly swallowed the whole damn stream!” he rubbed my back, and held me tightly to warm me.

The edges of my illusory dream echoed in my mind. “...I nearly drowned?” 

“Yes!” he hissed. “As I crossed over a deep stream, you slipped from my back and fell before I could catch you. Instead of floating up, you stayed below the water’s surface. I had to dive in after your fool self and ride the water to a shallow part. The little people dragged us out. If we weren’t before, we are beyond getting back to the trail now.” 

“Stop calling me a fool.” I ordered weakly. “I’m freezing… I need to rest just a second…” 

“You need warmth and blood. And we need to get out of these clothes.” Mr. Crepsley told me. “First above all, we need shelter.” 

I noticed for the first time how pink his skin was. The steam that rolled off his body was the sunlight burning his flesh, not water vapor. “You’ll die out here, Mr. Crepsley.” I warned him. His condition helped jar me back to my senses.

“We both will, if we do not find shelter.” He growled. He looked around, “Fortune would have us in her favor yet. I know this part of the mountain. A way station is not far off.” 

It was a little while, but we found a man made cave carved out of the side of a large boulder, the entrance marked by a fallen tree. The inside was decorated with a few tables, chests, coffins, and a few vials of human blood.

“Take off your clothes.” Mr. Crepsley ordered. I moved as fast as my cold, cramping muscles would let me, removing the soggy clothing and handing them to Mr. Crepsley. Once he himself was bare he wrung the clothing out and laid them out flat in a dry spot. The red haired man moved to a small well dug into the wall, and loaded it with the clean firewood.

“M-M-Mr. Cr-Crepsley, I’m freezing.” I ground out between chattering teeth. 

He spoke to me through clenched teeth to keep them from clanking together, “I know, just give me a moment, Darren.” He fumbled with the stick as he made the kindling for the fire. 

I hugged myself, shivering where I stood. When he got the fire going, he grabbed my arm, and had me stand before it. “Get warm.” He ordered, “Before you freeze to death.” Using his hands, he rubbed my skin, trying to get my blood circulating as fast as he could. “If you’re ever in a situation where you have gotten soaked in a harshly cold environment, take your clothing off immediately. It may just save your life.” 

“Why?” My body stopped trembling so badly as the fire’s heat licked over my skin, “Won’t that expose you to more cold?” 

“Wearing sopping clothes that freeze on you is not a good idea.” He told me with amusement. 

“Wait, what about Madam Octa?” I suddenly remembered the spider. Had she taken a dip too? Mr. Crepsley dangled the bag in front of my face.

“She is fine.” He told me, pulling her cage from the bag and setting it on a table next to the fire. “At least she will be after she dries off.” 

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, “Mr. Crepsley, I’m sorry that I fell in. I didn’t mean to cause a panic.” 

He gazed down at me with consideration, “Darren, it was a mistake. It was both of our faults, but on a journey like this there is no shortcuts or napping while you’re being carried anymore, understand?” 

I nodded glumly, “Yeah. I’ve never seen you so worried before.” I teased him lightly, trying to restore our moods. “You were frantic.” 

I hesitated at the seriousness in his face. Things like this, Mr. Crepsley would brush off. Because nearly dying didn’t amount to anything to the vampires nor to him. They grazed death all the time, but Mr. Crepsley didn’t seem to be following that philosophy now. The older man set his hand on my shoulder, and told me in a grave voice, “Because I would be destroyed if I were to lose you, Darren.” 

 

\-------

Another week passed us by and Mr. Crepsley and I made it to snow. I felt like my feet would freeze off, but after a couple miles the blood was flowing through them again and everything was fine. Until I would go to bed, sleeping with my feet curled under me, then cycle would start again. During our long hikes, I would while away the hours by thinking of the next warm place to lay. I just was tired of this snow, sleeping on the hard ground, rough deer skins, and smelling bad. 

The landscape was barren. It was so lifeless and dull that it was hard to find the motivation to venture out sometimes. For the first few days, it was just a blanket of empty white. Trees and rocks dotted the landscape several miles in, and the animals started appearing again.

“Up there, Darren, do you see?” Mr. Crepsley pointed, trying to get me to see what he was pointing out. “Just there on the hill.” 

“Is… is that a way-station?” My voice was filled with unadulterated excitement. “Yes! Come on, old man!” I shouted, racing towards the promise of warmth and a soft place to sleep. It may have been in a coffin, but anything was better than the cold, hard ground!

“Don’t run. You’re tossing madam octa about and she will not be happy.” He called after me. I slowed down, cowed by his warning- only to cry out indignantly as he raced by. “Hurry up, Master Shan. What is it you children say? Last one there is a rotten egg?” 

“Hey! Mr. Crepsley that’s cheating!” I cried, racing after him. In effort to make him pause, I scooped up some snow and threw it at him. My shot hit him square between his shoulders and he gave a grunt of surprise. I started laughing, even while he turned around and returned fire. 

“A little wisp of a thing like you stands no match against me, Darren, surrender!” I shook the bag off my shoulders, and danced around Mr. Crepsley’s snowballs, then returning a few of my own when I could. 

He lunged for me after a little while and wrestled me to the dirt. When he had me secured, he dumped snow upon me while I laughed and spluttered. “Mr. Crepsley!” 

He paused, a handful of snow suspended over my head. He had a wide grin plastered over his cheeks and his eyes were bright with merriment. I’d never seen him so gleeful before. The old vampire was always so stiff and serious. “Well?” He prodded.

“I’ve never seen you smile this much.” I told him, “It looks good.” 

He tilted his head at my remark, “Master Shan… It makes me glad that I blooded you.” a slow, warming curl of his lips spread across his face, and my breath hitched in my throat. I always liked when he slipped out of his reserved character and showed a bit more color, but this somehow reached me in a different way. 

“I’m glad that you blooded me too…” I managed, completely transfixed by him now. I thought back to when he almost kissed me at the cirque, and compared my feelings then to now. I really almost wished for it. We had become so close this past journey. Sharing close spaces with people, and enduring hardships would do that, I reckoned. “Mr. Crepsley-” 

The ball of snow he held above me dropped onto my face and I vigorously shook my head to clear it of the cold white substance. 

He laughed, helping me brush the snow from my face. “Here, wipe off your brow.” 

“I can’t believe you dropped it.” I grumbled. 

He squeezed my shoulder with his hand warmly, making my heart skip a beat, “Let me help-” My hand curled around a ball of snow and threw it at him. I lunged at him while he was surprised and got him to the floor. 

“Hah!” I cried victoriously, “I win!” My victory was short lived unfortunately, as Mr. Crepsley’s superior strength allowed him to flip us back over. When he sat up and gazed down into my face; I couldn’t focus for a minute. My brain seemed totally enthralled with his visage. 

He really did look nice when he smiled.

Mr. Crepsley’s playfulness melted off of his face and he seemed to stare at me with the same intensity as at the show. I didn’t dare look away from his eyes and that strange emotion dancing in them. My hands, trapped by the wrist under his, curled and uncurled to work the cold from them. “Mr. Crepsley. At the show a while ago,” he didn’t move or respond in any way while I spoke, “When Evra saw us- he said that you were going to…” I didn’t finish, feeling to awkward to speak. 

“...I wanted to kiss you?” He concluded, his face strangely emotionless except those hot eyes, “I did. I do.” His throat flexed and adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, “But your feelings matter, Darren. Your age had to be reflected upon. There are too many variables to count important. Too many ways this could leave us both scathed.” 

“Is this why you blooded me?” I was breathless by how dry my mouth had become. My mouth felt hot, like a dessert while the air was cold, and stung my lungs as I spoke. 

“No.” He responded as breathless as I was. “No, I would never take anyone because of that. I confess, I blooded you because I wanted an heir. A legacy to leave behind myself. A connection to another. You were perfect. Pure, loyal, and noble despite your thievery. And your attempts on my life.” 

“When did you start… liking me?” My ears grew hot. This discussion was just so uncomfortable feeling. 

“When you tried to kill me. While we were hunting Murlough down… I admired your nobility to take your chances on your own to stop me from becoming a monster.” His hands tightened on my wrists just slightly, “And the more I watched you grow into your own person- a strong young man- I supposed my admiration grew out of proportion.” 

“You admire me?” I waited with baited breath. My stomach coiled into knots uncomfortably.

“I love you, Darren. I have fought with this for some time. You may be 20 something in human years, but to we vampires, you are a boy all the same.” He seemed to struggle with even his words, “I can’t deny my feelings for you. But I will never, never try to coerce you in any way. You must know this, Darren. You will come first in all things to me. Not only as your teacher and guardian.” He left his unsaid words hanging in the air around us.

I could sense the desperation in his words. I wondered exactly how long he was struggling with this in himself. It hit me like a sack of bricks when it finally dawned on me how much he endured for me. “Mr. Crepsley I don’t know what to say…” 

“You don’t have to say anything.” He told me. “I only beg that if you do not want me as your lover, that I can remain beside you as your mentor and friend.” 

I allowed my eyes to switch between Mr. Crepsley’s eyes and the expression on his face. His words were so strong and resolute, but I could see yearning plain on his face. He wanted me to love him back, the way he loved me. I thought back to the first night here, and to when he rescued me. I recalled every tiny act of kindness, every mercy, every token of affection...

“Mr. Crepsley, I don’t know if I love you…” I admitted feeling so many sensations and emotions swirl inside of me. He released my hands. He nodded with his face relaxed and accepting, “But I want to try.” I added and that made him halt in his tracks. “I want to know if… the things that I do feel for you… if they are- or could be-...” 

His eyes were wide in surprise, and his mouth parted just a fraction, “You’re sure?” When I nodded slowly he pulled me up, “Darren, I promise to take things at your speed.” 

“You had better-” I shivered, “Let’s hurry to the way-station. I’m ready get a good rest.” 

He handed me my bag again. “Of course…” he murmured. 

 

Our relationship wasn’t like I thought it would be. I expected it to be like every movie romance: a cute couple who held hands and wrote love letters to each other (maybe not so mushy, but more like a regular relationship). I guess I should have taken Mr. Crepsley’s personality into consideration. It wasn’t completely unchanged- he was less gruff to me than before, he would smile at me more than usual, but we still hadn’t had our first kiss. Nor have we held hands, or been incredibly flirtatious. 

I contemplated this on our walk two days later. I missed Mr. Crepsley’s small glance at me, but heard his voice, “What is on your mind?” 

“Our relationship.” I replied thoughtfully, “It isn’t what I thought it’d be like.” 

He side glanced me, then said, “How so?” 

I directed my gaze at his eyes and explained, “I thought being in a relationship would be more like in the movies.” 

He actually gagged, “Movies- hmph. The cinema has been feeding people false realities for generations.” he lapsed into silence for a moment, then said, “You had your girlfriend, what was it like?” 

“I didn’t have her for very long…” I reminded him. “And she was really indirect while making me be more direct? I guess? When I first asked her out, she made me ask formally then left that night saying she’d think about it.” 

“Mm…” He refocused his gaze ahead, “And what do you expect out of our arrangement?” 

I was irked at how he referred to it. “Firstly, for you to call it a relationship instead of an arrangement.”

“Noted.” He replied shortly.

I frowned at him, “People are supposed to hold hands and kiss and go on to dates. You know: romance?” 

He smirked at me with a gleam in his eye, “I’ll bring you to the nearest bistro immediately, love.” 

My hand itched to punch him. “Don’t mock me.” He chuckled lightly and we continued our walk in silence. 

The temperature got bitterly cold as we continued. My feet were numb and felt like two ice blocks at the ends of my legs. I knew for sure that I would have wind burn or frostbite on my face, feet, and ears. Even Mr. Crepsley was rosy cheeked and looked miserable.

“Mr. Crepsley… how much farther to vampire mountain?” I demanded, an edge of a whine in my voice. 

“We’re a little ways off yet, Darren.” I couldn’t help but to groan. He replied easily, “Don’t despair, we’re making good time.” 

“This sucks.” I finally decided. 

“I agree. It does… suck.” Mr. Crepsley couldn’t keep the amusement from his voice, “But-”

“I know, I know. It will mature me.” I frowned at him. “Well… No use in bellyaching I guess. It’s gonna be done whether I want to or not.” 

“You’re beginning to think more like a vampire, Darren. This is no easy task, you should feel proud of yourself when we get to the top.” 

A large hand reached around my neck and held me in place, “You mean if.” our assailant declared. I went stiff with fright, but Mr. Crepsley reacted deftly. He flattened his hand, extended his fingers, and swiped at the person behind us. The man stumbled back and ducked another swing of Mr. Crepsley's dagger sharp nails. “Larten! It’s me!” The man cried. 

Mr Crepsley stopped mid-swing, and gaped at our attacker, “Gavner! I could have killed you!” I turned around, still shaking from fright. 

“I’m glad you didn’t.” He said, rubbing a spot under his eye where Mr. Crepsley had just nicked him. He grinned at me, “You’ve come a long way, Darren, since I last saw you.” 

I nodded, swallowing down my initial fear, “Thanks. You look the exact same.” 

Gavner laughed and stood to brush the snow off of himself. Mr. Crepsley addressed Gavner directly, “How did you manage to run into us?” 

“I tracked your signal, and have been following your trail at a great distance for a while.” He tapped his head, “I took a shortcut through a rise in the mountain side, and then made a beeline for your path.” 

I grinned at him, “That’s pretty cool. I can’t wait until I’m a full vampire. So I could get the drop on Mr. Crepsley.” The orange haired vampire humphed and crossed his arms.

“Well. It isn’t always the safest thing to do as you just saw. You might wind up filleted or worse.” Gavner clapped my and Mr. Crepsley’s shoulders, “Larten, if you do not mind, I’d like to join you.” 

“Of course you may.” He responded, “The more the merrier.” 

“Hold on-” Gavner seemed to notice the two little people standing beside us. Even I had forgotten about them. It seemed as though Mr. Crepsley had to, and he seemed a bit shaken at the sight of him. Had they seen what transpired between Mr. Crepsley and I? I shuddered and hoped not. “What are they doing here? Larten, bringing little people to the mountain with you?” 

“Mr. Tiny insisted.” Mr. Crepsley stressed the word heavily with a bit of contemptment in his voice. 

“I wonder what he wanted with them?” Gavner asked, rudely inspecting the little people. 

I cleared my throat and caught Gavner’s expression, “Staring is rude.” 

He stood and grinned impishly at me, “Not like they mind. They work at the freakshow, right? They must be gawked at often.” 

“They might mind, Gavner.” I warned. The look on Evra’s face as he pulled out a bracelet that belonged to a performer who tormented the little people flashed in my mind. Supposedly, he was eaten by them after he pushed them so far. The only thing left behind was a bracelet magically crafted to not fall off the limbs of the person wearing it.

Mr. Crepsley huffed impatiently, “Let us be on our way. Daylight is not far off.” 

“Think we can make it to the way station?” Gavner asked as we started moving. 

“I’m sure we could if we walk more than we jabber amongst ourselves.” Came the older vampire’s reply. 

Gavner sighed and rolled his eyes. He was like a big kid sometimes. During the walk he and I chatted amicably, played ISpy games, and sang merry songs with each other. I think Mr. Crepsley was more than happy when we reached our destination just before the sun rose (if only because we will shut the hell up to sleep). 

I was pretty eager to get out of this cold too, and I didn’t notice Mr. Crepsley stop until I ran right into him. “Hold.” He ordered quietly. 

“What?” I snapped, wanting to settle in already. Get some cooked meat, lay down cozily. Even cuddled to Mr. Crepsley sharing our body heat sleeping outside was freezing. 

“Inhale deeply. Sharpen your senses. Tell me what you smell.” Mr. Crepsley said. 

I stepped forward a little and leaned towards the entrance of the dugout way station. At first I didn’t smell anything, but the sharp, pungent metallic odor hit my nose. “Blood…” I recognized. 

“Mm.” Mr. Crepsley nodded. He became on guard and started into the cave; I followed and Gavner brought up the rear. Inside the coffins were smashed, but the most gruesome detail was the blood splashed against the wall and the congealed blood puddle under the floor. He bent down and swiped his fingers through the blood on the floor and inhaled the scent. “...Vampire.” 

“Maybe a wild animal caught him in while he slept?” Gavner grunted, picking through the smashed pieces of wood. 

“No, not an animal. If an animal, the room would be in more of a disarray.” He made a sweeping gesture to the relatively neat contents, “And an animal would most likely carry the body away.” 

“Vampire hunters?” Gavner offered. My eyes widened in shock. I was so used to and versed in vampire life that I forgot that people thought us monsters and wanted us dead. 

“Perhaps…” Mr. Crepsley said softly, although I don’t think he was too convinced. “Let us be going. We don’t want whoever did this to return and engage us.” 

Gavner and I didn’t complain at being back in the cold. The sight inside the way station was even more chilling than the snow. I looked up at my mentor who calmly brought up the rear. He caught my gaze, set his hand on my shoulder, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. In return I gave him a weak smile. 

I focused on our path but my mind raced still. I wondered what other dangers we would face on our path up to Vampire Mountain.


	3. The Hall of Vampire Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darren falls ill on the way. Not only that but he's met with a wall he and Larten must overcome. Will he succumb to the illness or stay stuck behind the brick restraining his and Larten's relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! Finally, some updating! I'm sorry if this story is sort of everywhere and the characters are out of character! I just wanted this up as soon as possible to make up for my recent (super long) hiatus. Please enjoy and do leave comments! They really encourage me to continue writing really. Nothing feels better than seeing people thoroughly enjoying my work. On that note, read on my viewers!

After a couple of days traveling, I fell ill with what Mr. Crepsley and Gavner called Vampire Fever. It presented itself with minor aches and pains. There was a constant thick ache behind my eyes, and my limbs felt like they might fall off at the joints. My muscles were stiff and unwilling to stretch as I needed to move. It wasn’t until I started dragging behind even the little people Gavner and Mr. Crepsley stopped to investigate my sudden lack of strength. 

It was Mr. Crepsley who grimly announced the problem, “Vampire fever. It is so uncommon I forgot that Darren had a higher risk…” He pressed his finger to his scar to rub it in thought. 

“Yeah well what do we do with the kid? He can’t be expected to walk. He will get sicker as it is while his body fights off the effects…” Gavner pointed out, “He’s still a boy anyway. He isn’t as strong as a full grown man.” 

Mr. Crepsley was silent in his contemplating, “The best course of action is to carry him. We will take turns. If we wait for him to get better out here, the likely-hood of his death increases.” 

“Yes but the princes will already be weary of Darren as it stands with him being a boy and all. They might reject him all together if he shows up weak and pitiful as he will become.” Gavner scoffed, placing lion paw sized fists on his waist.

Mr. Crepsley sighed and decided more firmly to argue, “They will show him more leniency than that I should think. Illness is no laughing matter, nor one to shrug off. Not this at least. If anything, it’s because he’s a boy that they will show him mercy. Children are more susceptible to this.” My head went back and forth between their rallying comments like it was a tennis match. My bleary eyes blinked a few times to refocus and I had to swallow more than once to clear fluid from my ears.

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked, yearning to sit down somewhere, “What is Vampire Fever?” 

Gavner rolled his eyes upwards and blew out a breath as he struggled to string together an explanation I could chew through, “It’s… like the flu for a human. However… it’s not caused by a virus or bacteria. Rather this is a problem inside your blood.” 

Mr. Crepsley sprung to cover the gaps in Gavner’s account, “More so, it is a premature purge that your body is not ready for and is trying to reject.” 

“A purge being…?” I prompted.

“Charna’s Guts, Larten! Didn’t you teach him anything?” Gavner asked.

“I do, it’s just that he tends to forget our talks and lessons.” The orange haired vampire stated dryly. He went on to explain that the purge was a time where our vampire blood goes on to take over our human blood; a process that includes the accelerated growth of the person’s body. Hair, nails, bones, muscle, and organs. (Like hitting the fast-forward button on a person’s life but skipping the trips to the barber and nail salon).

“So will I go through the purge?” I asked quietly.

“More than likely no.” Mr. Crepsley said, “Although there have been a few that have snapped out of the fever early instead only to go through the purge… but those men were much older than you, and were more capable of handling it.”

“I could handle it.” I huffed, my brows pulling into a deep scowl, “You think I couldn’t?” 

Gavner tipped his head back and howled in mirthful laughter, “This boy is making a fine vampire yet!” 

Mr. Crepsley smiled with him, “Yes. He is growing into a prime example of the vampire ways...” 

I straightened at the comments from the older vampires, like a wilted flower receiving fresh rain. Gavner noticed and snorted, “Oh, did we stroke your pride, Darren?” 

My cheeks heated and left me grumbling with my head ducked so that the two men couldn’t see. Moreover, the ground suddenly was pulled from under my feet as Gavner hoisted me onto his back. “Hey!” I groaned as my arms were stretched. Laying across his back was uncomfortable, but it was better than having to walk. 

“Relax Darren.” Mr. Crepsley said, “We’ll walk as far as our next campsite then we’ll look you over. You should prepare yourself for hell, Master Shan. This fever is not kind to those it affects.” 

“When is any fever kind to those they affect?” I asked sarcastically. 

“Watch your tone with me.” he warned with a twitch in his mouth. I grinned back at him, knowing that his reprimand was for show than anything. 

I’ll admit, after a while, I fell asleep against Gavner’s back. I know after the river incident I should have been more uneasy about just sleeping, but I just became so tired that I couldn’t hold my eyes open. My sleep was dreamless and unrestful, like my brain refused to accept rest even though it needed it. 

 

I woke up sometime later even more exhausted than before. My skin was clammy and I felt frozen but Mr. Crepsley hovered over me rubbing a chunk of snow over my forehead. “Stop it.” I croaked, my voice sounding horrible. 

He frowned at me and moved his hand away, “You’re awake, good.” he said. “It’s been three days.” 

“What?” I panicked, struggling to sit up. Pain lanced through my stomach scaring me into laying back down rather than risk vomiting, “Three days? Where are we?” I was breathless from my stomach’s clenching and writhing. “Are we at the palace?” 

“Palace…?” He looked puzzled for a moment as if I’d asked him some ludicrous question, “Ah, you mean- hmph, no.” he took a spare cloth and wiped my forehead, “No, you actually insisted you stay out here. You mumbled something along the lines of kicking my ass if I showed up with you in such a wretched state.” 

I swallowed dryly and bunched my shoulders to my ears even though it hurt to do so, “Sorry…” 

“Mn… don’t be. You were in a half conscious state, I took no offense. Gavner on the other hand was in stitches.” He added wryly.

“Have you been taking care of me?” I asked softly, feeling my cheeks heat in a blush. 

He cocked one orange eyebrow and tilted his head, “Does my tending to you tickle your fancy, Master Shan?” 

“I dunno… a little.” I admitted awkwardly. “It’s kind of cute. Like in the movies.” 

He actually groaned and tipped his head back, “You and the damned movies…” He stayed that way with his eyes looking upwards, muttering to himself about the fool-hardy propaganda the cinema spreads.

“You’re acting like an old man.” I told him, a little sour. “Just because I told you that you were romantic.” 

“Yes well. You will find out soon enough that people don’t always live out to your expectations. Movies are fake, Darren. I won’t be your knight in shining armour. And I would never have taken you if you were a true damsel in distress. I took you because you are strong. And willful.” He stroked that scar of his with an impish grin, “It helps though, that you are quite... cute.” 

I stared at him with wide eyes. His wordage was unexpected and foreign sounding coming from him, “Are you sick too?” 

“No, Darren. This is our intimate time together. I will be different than when around others.” He stated it as if it were obvious (I guess it should have been, it did make sense) “Although helping you use the water closet is not what I’d call especially romantic…” He mused aloud. 

“What’s a water closet?” 

“Bathroom.” He grunted in response. His teeth flashed from behind his lips at my expression of horror. “Oh yes, I assisted you in using the bathroom.” 

“Kill me…” I groaned, hiding my face in shame. 

“If that bothers you so, perhaps I shouldn’t mention that I had to bathe you.” He was enjoying this all too much.

“You bathed me?” I cried, “You only wiped up right? Y-you didn’t see me naked?” 

“Does it bother you that I did?” He asked very seriously, “I had to keep you somewhat clean so that you didn’t sit in sweat and at one point vomit. I left you naked under the furs to make cleaning easier. Then I switch the furs once a day. I’ve already changed them.” 

“I-I’m naked?” I peeked under the deerskin blanket though my arms felt like lead. I almost fainted when I was greeted by my own smooth, naked flesh head to toe. “Where have you been sleeping?” 

He gestured to another set of skins lying a pace or two away. “I thought it inappropriate to lay with you without your consent. We may not do anything but… you still are nude.” 

My face lit up in a blush at the thought of his hands running over me. Sure he wasn’t meaning anything… lewd behind it but it still sent a shiver of excitement. I wondered if he approved of what he saw, not that he paid that much attention since it was all done under the purpose of keeping me as healthy as possible. “Uh, thanks for… you know thinking about what I’d…” 

His fingers brushed over my cheek and his grin widened as my words died right on my lips, “You’re so easy to get a reaction out of. Shy little Darren, going quiet at merely the stroking of my hand.” 

My brows furrowed and I scowled at him, “I am not-” his lips covered mine. They were rough and cracked from the dry winter air, and I’m sure mine were no better. My hand weakly rested on his knee while his rose to frame my face and hold it. The kiss was so light and delicate and incredibly nice. I prayed that it wasn’t just a fever dream that I’d awaken from incredibly disappointed. 

When he pulled away, his grin had been replaced with a smile that glowed with warmth. “I seem to have stolen your words all over again.” He replaced the snow against my forehead and wiped more of my brow. I shivered under it, and let my eyes close. I was overcome in a sudden exhaustion that I blamed on Mr. Crepsley’s kiss. “Sleep. You need rest.” I only sighed in response to him, and let my head fall to the side in order to sleep. 

 

The next I woke, my fever had broken. My skin was gritty feeling with the dried sweat upon it, but it was the least of my worries. My head was swimming with the senses it was taking in. My nose, my ears, even my skin tingled with its overwhelming surroundings. Not mentioning the ache in my body down to my bones was terrible. I had a worrisome moment where I actually wondered if I were dying. “Mr. Crepsley…” I moaned, shaking as I mustered the energy to roll over. “Mr. Crepsley…” I opened my eyes, squinting at the firelight in the room. I never knew just how intense light from a fire could be until now. Before it was so dim, now it feels like the sun was sitting personally in the room. “M-Mr…-” 

He knelt beside me and pulled me up into his arms. The groan that erupted from my lips at the movement was horrible, “Not to worry, Master Shan, I’m here.” 

“I-It hurts…” I choked, “My legs and…” 

“Hush, I know. You were asleep for quite some time, another day, I’m afraid.” He brushed my hair from my face and gently ran the pad of his thumb over my cheek. 

“It’s too bright in here.” I sighed, pushing into his shirt. It smelled like dirt, blood, and sweat but there was a little whiff of his cologne still left from before we set off. I buried my nose into his chest and inhaled as deeply as I could to try to catch as much of that smell as possible. 

“Ah. Your senses are being affected by the fever. Don’t worry, Darren. It will be over in a little while.” He stroked my hair, “I’m surprised at how fast you’re beating it. Normally others would be down for months.” 

“What about… the Princes? What will they say? What about Mr. Tiny’s message?” I asked.

“You don’t need to worry, Darren. I sent Gavner ahead with the little people and an explanation long ago. Now all we do is wait.” He told me, wrapping his arms more securely around me. 

I nodded, sagging against him like a rag doll. I felt like death, and begged for the mercy of sleep. I could tell that my body was still exhausted and needed rest but it wouldn’t take the opportunity to fall back into slumber. I was kept painfully awake, and left to suffer through it. After a while, Mr. Crepsley started carefully shifting, trying to lay me back into bed. I thought about saying something, but I was repulsed at the thought of expending the effort of speaking. I rested there, and let him think me asleep.

I don’t know exactly when I finally got some shut eye. But I kept drifting in and out of it. The first time, I was leaned over Mr. Crepsley’s lap on my stomach. His thighs dug into my chest, making it ache almost as bad as my stomach did. It clenched and rolled over and over threatening to reject whatever was in it. When I finally did, the old vampire was there to rub upward strokes on my back almost as if he were guiding my stomach’s contents to the right spot. He was speaking, but my head was much too fuzzy to make sense of anything but the low grumble of his voice.

The second time, Mr. Crepsley was gently coaxing a broth of some kind into my mouth. I struggled to open my eyes or to move my mouth. I’ve been sick with the flu before, but the weakness I felt then is nothing compared to now. I was too tired to even pull coherent thoughts together. They all jumbled together as quick flashes of color, or even a slight sound if I tried to concentrate. I couldn’t even tell you the taste of the broth I was being fed, nor how it smelled. But it was brown, and translucent, with tiny puddles of fat drippings floating at the top of the watery liquid. 

The final time I regained consciousness, it was to the sound of my teeth chattering. I was shuddering in a pool of my own sweat, but at least this time I could drag open my eyes. A shuffling noise by the sconce in the wall caught my attention, and I dragged my aching eyes upwards at Mr. Crepsley as he laddled soup into a bowl. “...Crepsley…” I rasped. I’ve never seen the vampire start before, but I had to smile as he flinched so hard he almost dropped the bowl and ladle. 

“Darren!” He gasped, “Charna’s guts, you startled me!” 

I gave him a weak, but cheeky grin, “That’s… better… than Gavner… could do…” I was little out of breath after speaking- it took much more focus to string together words than one thought. 

He pursed his lips into a thin line, “Watch yourself.” He rumbled. “I might make you sleep outside.” He stepped towards me and lowered himself down onto the cot I was laying in. I noticed for the first time that he was wearing a red cape, white shirt with a thin, red leather vest, brown pants, and his normal sandals. I on the other hand was still naked.

“Mr…. Crepsley!” I said, my brows furrowing into a scowl, “Y-you’re… wearing… clothing…” He tried to shush me by bringing a spoonful of food into my mouth but I weakly turned my head away, “Not… supposed to-” 

“Darren, we made it to vampire mountain.” He told me. “Now hush about my clothing, and eat.” I pulled a face at him and still refused to open my mouth. “What now?” 

“You… brought me… here at… my weakest… and… everyone… saw me.” I told him with a scowl. “I… should… have… done… this on… my own.” 

“Well. It wasn’t my idea to bring you in. But the Princes demanded your presence not knowing just how ill you were.” He stirred the broth again and brought the spoon to my lips. I contemplated resisting, but found my lips parting of their own accord to let the steaming liquid into my mouth. “They debated what to do with you. Don’t you remember what happened?” 

I stared at him for a moment, “I was... awake… for that?” 

He chuckled dryly, “Yes, well… Let’s say you caused a commotion. As soon as we stepped before the princes you began roaring about the humiliation I put you through, bringing you in front of the princes as you were. You threatened to walk back down the mountain and make the trip up again- You couldn’t even walk in a straight line.” He seemed a little too happy about it. 

“So I… made… a fool of... myself too?” I summarized, a little bitter. 

“Quite the opposite, actually. Many of the vampires present were impressed by your tenacity. You were obviously in very bad condition yet you were on your feet, although shaky, and demanding to have another chance to prove yourself.” Another spoonful of broth was poured into my mouth and he smiled, “I’m proud. And so was my mentor.” 

“Is he awake?” Mr. Crepsley turned toward the voice, but blocked my view of whoever it was. I frowned, trying to crane my neck to see over my mentor in hopes of catching sight of this person, who sounded too… womanly to possibly be a vampire. 

“Arra, I haven’t seen you since the princes called in Darren. He is awake. Come in, please.” He stood, moving away from my bed and allowing the vampiress entrance. My eyes widened when I saw her. She wasn’t pretty by most standards, but from someone who went from a freak show to a mountain full of ugly vampires (not that I remember most) Arra looked like a movie star. 

“Ah, so this is your apprentice…” She mused aloud, “He seems… so unlike you.” She smiled at this and turned toward Mr. Crepsley. “I never thought you of all people would have the heart to take an apprentice, Larten. You’re usually a loner.” I didn’t like the fondness of her tone, and I didn’t like the way she behaved around him. It was obvious immediately they had a history together. 

“Mr. Crepsley…” I started, struggling to sit up. I managed only to get my head up just enough that it was noticeable. 

“Darren- relax.” Mr. Crepsley surged forward and put his hands on my chest to ease me back into bed. Just over his shoulder, an expression flashed over the woman’s face but it was too quick for me to decide what it was. “You can not exert yourself. You’re much too weak.” 

“Perhaps I should go,” Arra began, waving a hand, “You seem a bit busy and poor Darren here is too weak to entertain company.” She scanned me one last time before dipping her head in a nod of farewell. Her ponytail swirled like the loose blue cape around her shoulders as she swept from the room. 

Mr. Crepsley gazed after her, and I saw his eyes fill with thoughts. “Darren let’s… finish your soup, hn?” He picked up the bowl he’d set on the table, and began feeding me again. 

 

My sleep recently was dreamless. I kept fading in and out of consciousness; with each time I woke I saw more and more vampires surrounding me, murmuring together. I hated that I wasn’t strong enough to keep myself awake. My body was in so much turmoil it seemed that the only thing it could still do properly was sleep. 

When I finally woke for the last time, I felt like an entirely new person. My energy was restored plus some. I took things slowly still- sitting up and gently pulling the blankets down enough to push my legs to the side of the bed. My naked body surprised me. I had new, thin, white lines along my thighs, my shoulders, and my stomach. Stretch marks, my mom has them as well, they’re supposed to be from growing. 

“Darren!” My eyes drifted to the door and a smile graced my lips. There stood my orange haired mentor with fresh sheeting in hand and a mug of water. “Charna’s Guts you’re awake!”

“Yeah. How long was I asleep for?” I asked, pulling the blankets over my groin for a little modesty. 

“Two weeks! You fell into a coma. Our best physicians, philosophers, highest thinkers were all puzzled by it.” The vampire came into the room and set the bedding and the mug down beside the cot. “There was an uncertain time that we were starting to think that you were dying.”

“Two weeks?” I hissed, my eyes going wide. “Damn!” 

“That’s not all.” He said grimly. “Go look in the water basin.” I abandoned modesty and made a bee line directly for the water. I noticed right away that I had much more strength than before. My arms felt a bit heavier, my legs were longer, and I crossed the distance faster. But the real shock came when I saw my reflection in the water of the basin. I was so overwhelmed that I actually screamed at the stranger’s reflection staring up at me. “Be calm.” Mr. Crepsley began, standing up. 

“Mr. Crepsley, what happened to me?” I asked in rising panic. I looked like a completely different person. I had to be nearly twenty something, with shaggy black hair and stubble on my chin and cheeks. “I-I look-...!” 

“Calm down, Darren-” 

“Like hell I’ll calm down! What did you feed me?” I moaned looking away from the water to avoid the confusion of seeing my now grown features. 

Mr. Crepsley snapped my name in a tone that shook me enough to shut me up. “That’s enough. Don’t lose yourself to panic, Darren. Ever. It only makes things worse.” He crossed his arms, “As for your new appearance, there is an explanation: you purged. Completely.” 

“I what?” I asked, knitting my brows together. My own deep voice disoriented me so much, that I almost looked around the room to see who had stolen my words.

He sighed in exasperation, “You purged. Do you not remember what we talked about before you became ill?” 

I reached through the fog of confusion in my brain to piece together my memories. “I-I’m a vampire? A full vampire?” 

“In short, yes.” He said, nodding. “It isn’t a loss, Darren. I had planned on you growing as a half vampire, however it seems that your body had other plans.” 

A blanket was draped over my shoulders, and a warm arm placed around my waist. “Mr. Crepsley, this is way too much for me…” I admitted as I drew the blanket tighter around me.

“You will get through, Master Shan, you always do.” He nodded approvingly. 

“I never asked, what did the princes say about me? Were they upset at you?” Gavner told me some time ago during our trek up the mountain that Mr. Crepsley had committed a crime in blooding me. 

Mr. Crepsley didn’t answer right away, but when he did, it wasn’t what I wanted, “We haven’t held the trial yet due to your state. Let us talk about this matter some other time. For now, let’s focus on getting you fed and getting you into some clothing.” he smiled. “I will fetch you something to wear and some broth, you sit down and wait.” 

As he left, I found the voice to call after him, “Mr. Crepsley-” The orange haired vampire turned to me quizzically, tilting his head slightly much like a wolf listening for prey under the banks of snow, “Er-... C-could you find me something… suiting to an apprentice of yours?” 

His smile was dazzling, and called the blood to pool into my face. “But of course, Master Shan.” 

 

The council was silent as Mr. Crepsley and I strode in. We looked like father and son, him in the same attire as when I first woke in the mountain and I in red pants, a white shirt, and tan sandals. As we crossed through the stands and to the small platform in front of the three princes collected to stand over our trial. 

I knew them by Mr. Crepsley’s rushed descriptions: The left most was Paris Skyle: The oldest vampire in the whole mountain. He was around during Shakespeare's time, was even his friend until he died and Paris drained him upon his request to preserve his memories. The middle was Mika Ver Leth: He was lethal with curly black hair that framed his face and hung down to his shoulders. His pinched and pale features reminded me somewhat of a scowling mother. But his scars and sneer were not very motherly at all. His eyes were as dark as Paris’s blue eyes were bright. Lastly was Arrow: A bald man- huge in comparison to most vampires (and lots of them were pretty beefy). He has a pure divine hatred for the vampaneze who killed his wife long ago. He had arrow tattoos on his upper arms and through the middle of his head. He was the most intimidating of the bunch, but they all made me feel as though I’d regurgitate my lunch.

“Darren Shan, so we meet again. By and by, I see you’ve grown!” Paris called from his seat, a smile curling his thin, wrinkled lips. 

I cleared my throat, “It seems that I was affected by the purge.” 

“But you were blooded as a child. Which makes you, still, a violation of the law.” Mika reminded coldly. I didn’t know why exactly he was so aggressive. He had to be targeting me because his eyes were focused on me and his words were aimed directly for me. I took in a breath when he turned his head towards Mr. Crepsley, “And you made him, Larten, knowing our laws and how they are.” 

“I did. And accept full responsibility.” The vampire said, bowing his head submissively. “If you so wish, I will accept being stripped of my status-”

Paris stroked his beard, and made a soft noise of consideration, “Now, now… I’m reluctant to drag your name through the mud old friend. You are a vampire of high standing. Tell us, perhaps, why you blooded the boy?” 

Mr. Crepsley lowered his head a bit more, in shame, “I… haven’t any reason. I took the boy, just recently, as my lover-” The whole mountain, it seemed, went into an uproar. I jumped and looked around at the vampires who were shouting questions at Larten, and making accusations at me. Finally, Mika slammed his fist hard into the banister that separated the princes from the platform below.

“Enough! Any more who disrupt will be thrown out!” He glared at me, his eyes burning like hot coals, “Is this true boy? Larten and yourself are in some sort of commitment?” 

I nodded hesitantly, “Yeah, but-” 

“And has he made advancements on you sexually?” He pressed, his brows furrowing.

“What? No! But-” I sighed in frustration as he held up his hand. 

“This is much more tangled than we thought.” Arrow muttered, looking sickened. “Larten you know that he is merely a child…” 

“I’m not a child!” I shouted, my brows furrowed together. “I wasn’t a child when he asked me! I would have been this age if-” 

“You were human. Which you weren’t.” Arrow growled. 

“What on Earth was going through your head?” Paris questioned, looking helpless to save his friend from the punishment looming overhead. 

“I can’t say.” He replied softly. I looked around and spotted Gavner sitting with Arra and one other man, an older vampire dressed in red. Their expressions ranged between them from confusion, to shock, to sadness in that order. 

“Larten, punishment is unavoidable it seems… We would have allowed the boy to go through the trials of initiation but to punish him for your sins would be as unforgivable as your actions… seducing a child, Larten, where was your head, man?” My stomach churned as Paris spoke. 

“He didn’t seduce me! He asked me and I agreed!” I stood up quickly, pleading, “Please, Mr. Crepsley doesn’t deserve this. When he took me in, there wasn’t any kind of thought to such a thing. I’d stolen from him. I should have been punished but instead he asked me to join him as his apprentice. He even saved my friend, whom I’d almost killed with the very same spider I’d stolen from him.” I spread my hands, “Prince Paris, didn’t men marry women at thirteen years old in your time? How is this much different?” 

Paris shook his head, “These laws were put into place to protect young people, Darren.” He said sadly. “Young people like you who has their head turned around by the affections of those who have guardianship of you.” 

“Who says I need protection?” I demanded desperately. “You? You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’m capable of and what I am not.” 

“Our law is absolute. You are a child-” Mika began. 

“Were!” I interjected. Mr. Crepsley reached and grabbed my wrist, pulling me to my knees to stop me from really pissing the princes off.

Mika growled, “Do not interrupt me again! The fact is you were a child when he first took you. And that must be addressed!”

Paris sighed, “This is a grave indeed. Larten I hoped to be able to get away with possibly just having you retake the trials but this… This needs a suitable punishment. Do you have any idea the consequences to your actions?” 

“I knew them… However I took the chance anyway. I truly love Darren.” He said, his head lowering. I turned at the groans of disgust that came from the stands. They were revolted by Mr. Crepsley’s confession, suspicious of my intentions. The air was so thick from the tension it was beginning to get hard to breathe. 

“Take them to individual rooms until we come to a decision. Put the boy with the little person for the time being. Larten can have the room furthest from Darren. I no longer want any interaction between them-” Mika began, only for Paris to wave a hand and cut him off. 

“No way! I stay with Mr. Crepsley!” I shouted. 

“Be at peace Darren!” Mr. Crepsley hissed, “Or you will make things worse.” 

“The trouble you have caused, Larten. This boy lacks any obedience if it were up to me I’d have him gone permanently. As a matter of fact why don’t we-” Mika was cut off by Paris.

“You forget to include us in your decision making, my friend. Darren is a grown man now.” Paris pointed out. “I think that we also may need to take his true age into account in all of this. If it’s true that Larten took him just recently-” 

“On our way up the mountain in fact!” I supplied helpfully, “Just-... Three…? Three weeks ago?” It was a rough estimate. I don’t recall exactly the amount of time between now and then.

“Yes…” Paris murmured, “He was still an adult… chronologically.” 

“And if he’s lying to try to cover his mentor?” Arrow asked, turning towards Paris.

“You know as well as I that those words contain nothing but truth in them. Look at the boy.” Paris studied me, then continued speaking, “It would be a waste. It’s obvious he’s quite loyal. Of course we can’t expect the boy to have such a loyalty for us yet when nothing spurs him to. What say you, Arrow?” 

“Mn… He’s scrawny, but bold. And willful. Not a pushover, certainly… But this issue between him and his mentor has me… hesitant.” He turned his head towards the oldest vampire with a grimace.

Mika glowered, “It’s disgusted me.” He spat, “However…” His obvious venom receded a bit as he refocused on me, “He is interesting.” However begrudging it was, I was relieved that the princes were beginning to get Mika to soften.

“We will take time to deliberate. This matter is too complex, with too many aspects to consider to leave it to a vote as we would… are we all in agreement in this?” Paris asked, looking towards his fellow princes. 

“Yes.” Mika replied. 

“Aye.” Arrow rumbled.

The trial was adjourned and Mr. Crepsley and I were allowed to at least be in the same room. As soon as we were dumped there, Mr. Crepsley began pacing in front of the polished coffins presumably for us. I watched him for a while, my own mind racing just as his must have been. 

“I can’t believe you told them.” I told him quietly. His steps stopped and he let out a sigh, “They didn’t need to know! I thought you said that you’d be in serious trouble!”

“Darren, I couldn’t hide this from them. It is… a dishonorable act to be so cowardly as to hide one’s wrongdoings from their comrades just to save himself.” He said firmly. 

“So, I’m a wrongdoing of yours?” I hadn’t meant that to come out with so much acidity. Normally at his wide-eyed stare I’d have been cowed, left in wonder at the new emotion I’d gotten out of him. I was just too offended by his ridiculousness to even spare his shock much thought, “You told them so that you can do your weird self-deprecating thing you do because you feel bad!”

“I do feel guilty. However I wasn’t going to give you up, Darren, trust me in that.” He strode towards me and placed a hand at my waist. 

“You’re ridiculous. I can’t make heads or tails of the things you do lately.” I groaned, letting him slip me into his arms. “If you feel so damn guilty, why did you even bother asking me?” 

“Because, Darren. I was driven mad. I wanted you to be mine.” He stroked my hair absently, “It was poor judgment to ask you but I wanted at least to be yours, even if I would be unable to touch you.” 

It pissed me off that it struck me as sweet that he was willing to go without any physical affection out of me as long as he had me at least. “I hate that you do that.” I told him with a growl in my voice. “You do something that really ticks me off then you make it all better by being- ugh, you! You did that to me as a kid too! You’d be freaking mean then later you’d do something really nice and-” I glared hard at him, my brows scrunched together so hard it was beginning to ache. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re struggling with right now, but you can’t just-... throw yourself under the bus like that. As selfish as this sounds: What about me? Did you stop to consider how I’d feel about you getting into trouble over me?” 

A smile curved his mouth handsomely, and it caused a flutter in my stomach, “I forget sometimes, how wise you are despite your years. You have such a sharp mind and a quick tongue.” His thumb and finger pinched my chin lightly and lifted my face up to his. “Another beautiful thing about you.” 

As awkward as it really was hearing him talk to me like my lover, I couldn’t help melting into him even just a little, “Don’t distract me by being all…” 

“Is this not what you wanted? On the mountain you complained that I wasn’t romantic enough.” His smirk widened at my over bright eyes.

“Whatever.” I huffed, being bratty and childish now.

“Hmph. I’m sorry I didn’t include you Darren. However, I just… wanted to have something in order to make up for my… er-” He hesitated, trying to fit together an explanation that wouldn’t incite my wrath. 

“I get it.” I sighed. I was torn between feeling bad for Mr. Crepsley or being mad at him still. I pushed my feelings aside and simply pushed into his arms. I couldn’t change that he’d decided to spill the beans after all, and I couldn’t change the decision of the princes, whatever they decided. I felt my stomach clench at the worse possible thought filtered into my head, raising a small panic. 

“Whatever they rule, Darren.” He rumbled, making his chest vibrate with his words, “We face it together, hm?” 

I lifted my head, my eyes steely with determination, and agreed. “Together.”


	4. Together Alone

Oof, it has been awhile. In truth I did abandon the work seeing as I wasn't getting as high of a volume of readers as I wanted. The comments from you guys are what really spur me on seeing as I have no motivation to write if I don't think people are enjoying it. I've been quite busy now with life college is expected soon and with my work schedule being what it is, I doubt once college starts I'll have much time to update. But I'm back and starting the next installment of "Kiss Me in Secret": 

Chapter Four: "Together Alone"


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